My Journey to Catholicism

November 2, 2023

In April 2021, my husband Sean and I were celebrating my 37th year around the sun with a couple’s getaway at the Omni Resort on Amelia Island. On the morning of my 37th birthday, we took the tram from our hotel to the resort’s gym and indoor pool complex. Each treadmill had its own personal TV and, as I flipped through the channels on my treadmill, I landed on what must have been a Catholic mass or adoration ceremony.

I read the beautiful prayers scrolling down the screen and saw a shiny, golden, sun-shaped object on a stand, which I now know is called a monstrance (in the middle of the “sun,” the Eucharist is displayed for adoration). I was captivated by the prayers, reverence, and the peace I felt. I wasn’t sure what I was watching or why but I didn’t want to change the channel from this Catholic show. 

Little did I know the explosions that would soon be erupting in my life and marriage. The year ahead was to be one of the most difficult of my adult life. Through it, I would gain confidence in my newfound sobriety, a more authentic relationship with my husband, and motivation to go deeper into my personal walk with God. Frankly, I had nowhere else to go. 

When someone I had worked with on several real estate deals invited me to visit the adoration chapel at her Catholic church, I went. I had never heard of adoration before. 

There, at the front of the softly lit quiet room, was another monstrance, like the one I had seen in the video on my birthday. This was truly a peaceful space. I felt safe to kneel down, pray my heart, and cry quiet tears to Jesus. I felt a holy presence with me and I knew in the depths of my being, I was not alone in my journey. Somehow, I was exactly where I was supposed to be. 

As a person who has been on a colorful spiritual journey, I’ve been to a number of quiet, sacred spaces. Some of these spaces have been decorated with images of Jesus. Some have held images of venerated figures from other traditions- representations of characters such as Ganesh, Shiva, and Paramhansa Yogananda. 

Truthfully, I’ve experienced feelings of peace in these places too. I hypothesize, when the hearts of devotees are loving and present, there is a vibration to this. There is an energy that is palpable to sensitive people like myself. 

While I appreciate the variety of experiences I have had through my years of exploration, Jesus Christ is more than a teacher, symbolic figure for meditation, or a spiritual master to me. Jesus is my personal Lord and Savior. 

Now, here I was in adoration. This sacred space resonated with my love for Jesus and my deep inner longing to contemplate, pray, rest, and let go of my worldly cares in the Light of His Holy presence.  

I had never realized I could go to adoration and experience my heart open so deeply in contemplation of and prayer to Jesus. I hadn’t realized adoration existed. But here it was, in the Catholic Church. 

I soon began attending Mass fairly regularly, sometimes as often as four or five times each week. I was drawn to Mass because I also experienced this gentle peace within the walls of the church. I learned that Mass is a sacramental banquet that brings together heaven and earth. During the Mass, the saints and angels come into the same space as us and we all worship God together. 

It is no wonder that what I witnessed taking place on the little television the morning of April 24th, 2021  at the Omni gym had touched me. Now, actively participating in the Mass was not only beautiful to my spirit, but it was also growing my faith. 

More often than not, I would leave Mass feeling more grounded in God, more convicted that my true home was in heaven, humbled yet empowered to live more fully and truly here on Earth, and with a sense of protection and love wrapped all around me. 

As a non-Catholic person attending Mass I could participate in most of the experience as a parishioner. I could pray, stand, kneel, recite liturgy, and even walk up to receive a blessing from the priest. However, I was not permitted to receive the sacraments of the confirmation and the Holy Eucharist because I was divorced. 

After numerous conversations with my Catholic friends as well as with Sean, it was decided that Sean and I would pursue annulments as well as go through the RCIA process together. RCIA stands for Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults and it is a required step to being initiated into the Catholic Church. 

While Sean did not feel the calling to the Church as I did, he was willing to explore it with me. He agreed to participate in whatever way was needed for me to be able to become initiated in the Catholic faith. Meanwhile, he continued his own soul-searching spiritual journey alongside me. 

The RCIA classes were interesting and informative, and although some days it was a challenge to get through it all with our 5-year-old in tow, the process was relatively painless. The annulments, however, were a bit more involved. 

From what I understand, the current pope, Pope Francis, has done a great deal to streamline the annulment process and for that, I am grateful. However, I will say because the annulment process did involve many steps and a hurdle or two, there were moments I wondered if this was, in fact, the way forward. 

“Why would God make it so hard?,” I wondered. Maybe it would be easier to join another church where the bar of acceptance was lower. 

We did try attending a couple of other churches together. But, for me, it felt like something was missing. Yes, going with the path of least resistance would be easier, but I would be closing the door on something calling to me on a deep level. 

I simply had to be patient and see this journey to the end. One happy day, my annulment came in. Not long after this, we learned Sean’s witness letters (required for the annulment) had gotten lost in the busy shuffle of the Diocese office. 

By this point, I was determined to finish. With God’s help and help from a few of our friends, we got this thing back on track and settled in for more months of waiting. 

In the end, it took about a year and a half, start to finish, for both annulments to be completed. The great news is that by this time, I was more certain than ever I wanted to be fully initiated into the Church. Also, Sean became enthusiastic about having our marriage blessed by the priest, seeing it as a renewal of our commitment together as a married couple, and an opportunity to celebrate our love in the presence of dear family and friends, which is something we did not do in our 2017 courthouse wedding. 

On Saturday, November 4th, 2023, there will be a special private Mass held during which the priest will bless Sean’s and my marriage, and I will receive the sacraments of confirmation and the Eucharist. Praise God! This means three sacraments in one ceremony and is usually only done on Easter. 

What a journey and a blessing this is. God’s grace continues to touch, surprise, and amaze me. I’m excited about learning and growing in the Catholic faith and through every experience of this very precious life. I’m very grateful to God and to those who have inspired and helped me along this journey. Amen!