Mercury Retrograde?
What a wild ride.
I keep waiting. Waiting to write. Waiting to share.
Waiting for what?
Waiting for the latest storm to pass. Waiting for the clouds to lift.
But I feel my silence is prolonging it.
I’m allowing myself to be intimidated into silence.
Dampened into silence. Disappearing into the darkness.
Silence has a time and place. But self-expression is important.
I had a literal case of laryngitis last week and it felt like the perfect ironic reflection of how my mind/spirit was feeling.
Stagnant. Stuck. Ruminating. Heavy.
This storm of depression comes at an interesting time as I have been invited to be a guest motivational speaker/singer this Friday at a corporate event. Ironically, this is something I wrote in my journal weeks ago as something I would like to do.
When I got the invite, I wasn’t super surprised- it was almost like, oh here it is. Now the ball is in my court- what will it look like and feel like to really do this?
I am also preparing to lead a 10-person, 30-day group through a course based on my book, “The 30-Day Sobriety Experiment.” This will begin on October 4th.
Talk about “imposter syndrome”! I am supposed to be inspiring and I’ve been going through this really weird fog of “bla,” to put it mildly, for over a week now. It’s almost funny.
It occurred to me earlier this evening that we are approaching 1 year to the day (Oct 1) when I was shocked by an unpleasant surprise that shook me to my core. I continue to feel reverberations of this event.
I do wonder if perhaps some subconscious re-living is going on as it was so distressing to me.
The only thing to do is to be here now. Be here now and focus on what I have control over. Focus on what I can do. Focus on what I have. Believe in the good. Believe life knows what it is doing. Believe God knows what He/She is doing. Trust the process. Trust the path. Ask for guidance. Ask to be led. Know it is all going to be okay.
I’ll return to tell you that it all really was okay and everything worked out just perfectly. Okay?
